Exhibit 1 - Point: Zombies

Ok, so maybe this blog won't be around as long as I had thought. The zombies picked up a massive gain in probability earlier this month, according to my interpretation of this article in the New York Times:

Mystery Disease Kills Dozens in Venezuela

This is, to my knowledge, the largest non-fictionalized zombie outbreak in recent memory.

Diseases are often implicated as the catalyst for zombie-ism. According to 28 Days Later, it is known as the Rage Virus. According to Max Brooks, author of A Zombie Survival Guide (note: buy this book if you want to live), it is known as Solanum. According to me, it is known as goddamn terrifying.

Using the very first paragraph from the NY Times article, I have created this IMDB.com plot synopsis:

"A mystery disease has killed dozens of Warao Indians in recent months in a remote area of northeastern Venezuela, according to indigenous leaders and researchers from the University of California at Berkeley. The team of researchers, which includes three busty grad students, a nerdy guy with lots of high tech gadgets, an aging anthropology professor with secrets of his own and a tough-as-nails mercenary guide who's seen it all, begin to suspect that things aren't quite what they seem"

Money in the bank.

For those of you still unconvinced:

"Preliminary studies of the latest outbreak indicate that it may be a type of infectious rabies transmitted by bites from bats, the researchers said. The symptoms, which last three to six weeks, include partial paralysis, convulsions and an extreme fear of water, they said, and those who die become rigid just before death. The disease is believed to be fatal in most cases."

I'm pretty sure they said "believed to be fatal" because they're still wrestling with the dead/not dead concept of walking cannibalistic corpses.


I'm not gonna be the one to check pulses.

Thankfully, this seems to be localized, as there's not too much travel to and from the territories occupied by the Warao Indians. However, this does warrant extreme alarm.

Best Case Scenario: A cure is found and all traces of the disease are wiped out.
Worst Case Scenario: Global Pandemic, humanity is wiped out within four months.

Most Probable Scenario: The outbreak is contained, and the disease is isolated for research, a corrupt general seeks to develop a weaponized strain, a freak lab accident occurs, and humanity is wiped out within four months.

At least with the last one, we get plenty of time from all the bureaucratic red tape.


Be afraid.

Rev